Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
