Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
