So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize