What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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