what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
