Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
