I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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