Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
do nipples grow back?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
