glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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