the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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