Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
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