Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
