doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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