i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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