i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
