Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
