And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
