I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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