Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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