there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
