Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
