what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Found your dick twin last night
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
