Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
