Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
