please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
