Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
