is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
