Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
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