ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
