he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
