we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
