i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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