Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
