My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
