Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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