after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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