I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
