my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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