That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
