he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
