This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
