Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Your cock deserves a montage
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
