found the other keg... it's in the tree
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
