is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize