You're my little dorito
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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