Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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