Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
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