I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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