your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
