I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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