What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We don't watch enough power rangers
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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