Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
