You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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