Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
