Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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