sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
