THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
