Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize