She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize
