Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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