never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
