i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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