OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
