Soap is not a condiment
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize