I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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