this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
