so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
