I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize