We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
